There's no place like home
The Lighten Up Tour: Expect something good, just not what you expect
Hitting home
Homecomings are both ordinary and magic. It’s simple to turn the doorknob, and step inside. But once within… every wall, window and surface reflects invisible, magical energy of your life. I was born into a house that radiated many good things. and I’ve endeavored to create the same: I have long felt and heard that our home offers its occupants and guests feelings of safety, comfort, beauty and especially, dreams of possibility.
After four months traveling while Remediation crews wearing hazmat gear took out walls, bathrooms, insulation, heating system, and more, Tim and I returned to our house at the end of August. Though the first round of post-remediation testing still found some hot spots, we set up shop in our bedroom, which was deemed safe while work continued. It was time to go home for all sorts of reasons. But the energy that hit us when we opened the door has been challenging, and explains why I haven’t written here in a long time.
Because I am prone to mold illness, Tim has been in charge of doing most of the “Hepa Pizza” required in all our rooms. It was named “pizza” because it’s a layered approach to cleaning:
Vacuum the wall / ceiling / surfaces / anything you can with a Hepa vacuum
Now wash those things with a gentle soap and let it dry
Now take a microfiber cloth and wipe all those surfaces
For the last 30 days, we have pizza’d and washed every piece of clothing we have, every spoon, plate, fork, every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen, dining room, TV room and bedroom… We’ve trashed, steam-cleaned or pizza’d toiletries, treasures and towels. We’re waiting for special-sized plastic bags to come in to encase any paper we decide we need to retain in our lives. We still have the office and two front bedrooms to address.
Simultaneously, now that the second round of testing found us good to go, AMEN, every room in the house is under construction. This video will show a bit of what home is like at the moment”:
If you don’t know, now you know
In the midst of all this, today I received the reminder that it’s time to do my yearly “10Q” reflection and prediction of my life again. I’ve been doing this program for over five years and I highly recommend it:
Doyou10Q “emails you a question a day for 10 days. Afterwards, you send your answers to the secure online vault. One year later, your answers are unlocked and returned and the process begins anew.”
The people behind it from their website: “10Q is a project of Reboot, an arts and culture non-profit that reimagines and reinforces Jewish thought and traditions.”
Today, they unlocked the vault and emailed me last year’s Q&A. The question that really stood out was, “What are your predictions for the coming year?”
My 2023 answer, in part, with bold added today: "I will be stronger next year, physically and mentally. Yet, having accepted that I am chAnGING and therefore a different Gail than I was pre-accident/retirement, I hope I am gracious unto myself. " Also, Tim and I will have done the Swedish Death Cleaning for Hastings House and be ready to do something different than just hold course. Otherwise, I just want to flow and not predict.
How prescient was that? Within 30 days of that answer, the whole mold thing was set in motion. Yes, it took a while until I was ill enough to have a doctor suspect mold for causing my anxiety instead of just “stress.” Then more time to test the house and make a plan. But here we are a year later: I can make a case for being in better health now (and I’d rather do that then make a case for it being worse). We sure have been doing our death cleaning in the house and in our lives, having learned life is dynamic in every second. Our house has just reinforced how so much of life is out of our control except how we will respond. And even that, according to the fantastic book, “The Body Keeps The Score,” is subject to life-long learning and healing.
Expect something good, just not what you expect
My friend Kat coined the expectant phrase above in the subhead one day, decades ago, when life was unclear for her. Remembering that now, as I sit up here on my deck, I have to laugh. Even as we see that the house will not be whole again till the end of 2024 (fingers crossed), our work this month has greatly lightened up our lives of past energy, allowing for new space and dreams. Though I still can’t clearly see completely how, I know the future course of our life has been changed. I never expected my prediction to happen via the vehicles it did.
In the heroic journey, that’s how it goes. The grail is never what you saw before your travels; it is something ever more awesome. Awe-some. In my case, the gift I will have received from this year of mycotoxin tour is such a big, shining crystal I have only seen a few facets of it so far.
As I gain ground and health to stand on, I imagine future posts reflecting on this last year of rebirth, grace, hospitality, healing, letting go, re-contracting relationships, calling in allies, wearing armor, saying no, accepting, converting, and living; living the human experience, being both vulnerable and unconquerable, and being strong enough to show up as my own champion in this one life I have been given.
Also coming up: Doctor appointment where I hope the tests she shares with me will show that the mycotoxins are leaving my body after 5 months of chasing it with pills and supplements and limbic system retraining.
Resources I trust for people looking for mycotoxin healing information and modalities:
The idea of limbic system retraining, of which there are many apps or books. I use Gupta Program, there’s DNRS, Curable, Jill Carnahan MD… search and re-search your own best way forward
Cranial Sacral work. I can personally recommend Susan Hall in Redwood City CA, who also does distance work. Heather Strobel who owns Refresh in Sutter Creek is also fantastic if you’re in her neck of the woods.
More to come in future posts, or contact me on substack or gail@gailwhipple.com